Author: WhatIMiss?

B.Michael + HIV Meds

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More than 7 years after learning his HIV-positive status, B.Michael decided to fill his doctor’s prescription and began taking anti-virals on February 29, 2000 — with intention! (“Miss honey one” in his email below refers to his mom, who struggled mightily health-wise during this period.)

2000C09-BMHJAM-email

The Viramune vial has six pills remaining from the two-month prescription. At a twice daily dose, it looks like he took thm until March 26, at which time he discontinued the meds due to intense side effects.

The vial of Combivir pictured above, also a twice daily regimen, was filled on March 22 but is unopened. Chances are that he refilled his prescription in anticipation of completing his virgin vial of this medication on March 29.

No Space at Forty-One

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Researchers
Have not defined old
But they all agree
Once you’re over 40
You are no longer young

Older men
I used to prefer them
Now I’m one of them

Remembering cheers
From liked poets
Lines delivered
Haunt you

Dancing in clubs
Hearing music
Knowing all the lyrics
Remembering the first time
The artist performed at Club Car Storage

All your primary references are now retro
Replaced like the PanAm sign on the MetLife building

Outliving Martin
Outliving Malcolm

Talking about people because
You here and they ain’t
Every line ain’t really yours
But you use them

Only experience is down to the drenched sweat
Because you here
And they ain’t

Bryan and I ride the F Train
Remember the Bus Boycott in Boston
Remember Roy
Orange line on Washington Street
Mass Ave with the hole
Eyes sparkle
Pain freshened

Mother says
She’d never go back to Pensacola
Her birth home
To her Pensacola is
Black men dangling from ropes attached to trees

But I go back to Boston
Holding dreams still fresh
Yesterdays
Still fresh

We live long enough to see folks
Git right with God
Family find Jesus
Circles survive the Plague
Look in hindsight

Ask your mother
While she’s still here
Secrets to survive
Codes to daily living
Grasp at old folk
Real old folks
The old old
Not the young old
Like you are now

This time
You know too much
Parents seek your advice
Venus got her Grams with her
Celebrating her 80th
In and out making decisions
It’s not a burden
You ain’t reliving your childhood trying to make amends
It’s just the circle of life
You just doing your part
Taking your turn
Getting up with the sun
Taking back the daylight
Marvel at the joy of being
The sound of crows
Watering plants in your urban garden
Flowerpots on a sill
The window clocks your favorite time of day

Denise used to say
Some people read books to experience life;
I live a life that’ll be written about in books.
Are you going to read life
Or live it?

Over dinner
We talk about our fathers
Politics
Lovers
Ancestors

We get to apologize for past pain
Caused by casual conversation
We get to wonder what time will bring
Ten years past the first date
When we thought
We’d be old

Plotting toward new centuries
Tomorrow’s possibilities
Grateful
To be celebrating
The remembered


© B.Michael Hunter 1999

Performed by Allen Luther Wright at B.Michael’s Celebration of Life on 27 January 2001.

SoCal Wedding

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1998-lenys-wedding

Cousin Leny’s wedding to Steve on August 1, 1998, in Los Angeles was the last trip B.Michael and John would make together as a couple before separating later that month.

B.Michael (left) is rocking a Barong Tagalog and John reprised his uncle’s pink seersucker jacket pairing it with a tri-color bow tie that, if memory serves, he learned to knot for the occasion.

In classic Bert + John fashion, here is how they collaborated on the message to accompany the gift:

1998H12-bowls-for-leny-steve

Affirmations

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for John and Joe

Paint a mural of your love
bold
                       clever
                                             indelible

Baptize your vision
in primeval pools and puddles
of pastels and primaries

Give it three dimensions
with inky wads of discarded phonebook pages
tattered shoestrings
and links of rusty coat hanger

Make it shimmer with gobs of glitter
and shards of broken mirror
like Saturn’s rings
celestial debris in harmonious order

Autograph your oeuvre
with each goodnight kiss
with homemade birthday cake candles
            weeping wax
with juice from Saturdays of olallieberry-
            picking and sparring elephant seals
holding hands on long drives
slow walks arm-in-arm
Vancouver                  Venice                  Vanuatu

Know that no one knows you
like him

Acknowledge and appreciate each meal
together
and chew thirty-two times

Share silences and pillow-talk
chattering teeth on chilly mornings
evening jogs and fever-bouts
savor each full-mouth kiss

Remember all the possibilities

When you are octogenarian
souls rocking
side by side
cheeks parked on macramé cushions
measure time in days of gardening
and moonrises
warm your fingers and palms
on shared recollections
of fine wines and ceremonial gatherings

May angels and ancestors guard you — lovers

May honesty and humor guide you — brothers

May kin and kindred spirits buoy you — cousins

May you both
be anchored in the present
refreshed by mild winds
the joyful passing of
this moment
and
the next

© B.Michael Hunter & John Manzon-Santos 1998

Written on the occasion of the 15th anniversary of cousins John (aka Spike) Lomibao and Joe Garrett. Below is a reproduction of the original printed and framed.

1998g-affirmations-for-johnjoe

Image taken by event photographer and gifted to John & Bert by Spike & Joe, San Francisco Bay Area, June 1998